#but even my online social interaction is very low
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potatocornflakes · 1 year ago
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I'm lonely
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munch-mumbles · 1 year ago
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o<-<
#feeeeeeling sorry for myself#my energy to create is so low#ive been in a looong term art block and i have ups and downs but overall its Hard#i just cant find the energy/excitement to actually make my mental images real#i can barely even make myself color things let alone anything even higher effort#i WANT to but i also dont want to#so my accounts become boring and uninteresting because 99% of my ideas go unspoken atp#and what i do post is. boring and uninteresting. just basic poses boring interactions#i feel like a more and more boring person the more i think about it#there is a very small pool of people who care about me and im so passive that no one else even sees me#irl i basically only talk to me roommate and coworkers#neither of which do i have a super close relationship with#my roommates great but we dont talk that often#even online my social circle is small and the amount of people i consider close friends even pathetically smaller#and i dont know how to make new friends anymore because of aforementioned invisible person reasons#im just boring and i dont have the energy to be interesting#sighs. i need a boyfriend#but im also horrendous at maintaining relationships because ive killed my own social battery by isolating so hardcore#sought solitude growing up now cursed by loneliness yadda yadda#i dont even talk to my own family anymore for weeks at a time#in that case its better that way but it makes me lonelier. i cried in bed a couple nights ago thinking about how i cant even#cry my feelings out to my mom and have her comfort me anymore#i lost the people i used to have for that and im too nervous about being overbearing to find new people#these tags are getting long lol. im not like super upset right now im just thinking about it#it makes me sad that i dont know how to do anything about my current life path (ie spending the rest of my life alone and unseen like this)#also the reason i keep making these obnoxious vent posts here is exactly because i dont have other people im comfy talking about it too#not that theres people i dont TRUST talking to. i just dont want to put that pressure on them and i feel better not asking and i hope that#these posts dont make those friends feel like they need to come ask#so maybe like. 5 people might skim over these and catch a couple of my thoughts and at least i know it was perceived by SOMEONE even if#only passively
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vivi4nn4 · 5 months ago
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OBEY ME headcannons ᯓᡣ𐭩.ᐟ
𑁍ࠬ ( this is not been proof read for spelling errors or mistakes ) 𝜗𝜚
ᯓ★ lucifer
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— lucifer is definitely caring even if he doesn’t show it he very much enjoys the little things like making you an extra cup when he makes coffee
— he likes to spend time with mc just each other doing their own things
— lucifer also cares deeply about his family n friends even if his pride gets in the way of showing it
— lucifer enjoys suits n blazers as we can tell from the game but I also think he enjoys that jumpers / sweaters especially high necked ones and my point is also proven from cards from the game!
— as we know mammon is secretly his favourite brother but I think his second favourite would definitely be leviathan or beelzbub
— lucifer enjoys having mc all to himself his ego launches to the moon when mc decides to spend time with him rather then any of the other brothers
— lucifer barley gets any sleep but he doesn’t enjoy a lie in even when he gets the chance
ᯓ★ mammon
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— mammon loves when you gift him stuff he’ll look after it forever n vise virsa he’ll buy you stuff that he knows you’ll love he is the sin of greed after all
— he absolutely adores being around you he’s very clingy like that watching tv? He’s right next to you getting a snack? He’s getting one too
— mammon loves being centre of your attention it makes him feel so special that you choose him due to his lack of social esteem of himself
— truley all that mammon wants is someone who respects him as an equal even his own brothers dont respect him let alone anyone else even tho he is the second strongest
— mammon enjoys talking to mc about his n their day as we can tell he thrives from social interaction
— after a long day mammon just loves sitting in mcs room n watching a movie which we can see happening a few times in the game
ᯓ★ leviathan
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— leviathan loves playing games with you if you say yes once he’ll constantly ask you to play again
— leviathan has many online friends n community’s he’s apart of
— leviathan loves when people or mc compliment him bcs his self esteem is so low like mammons as we can tell from the game
— leviathan has such a soft side for mc even if mc doesn’t realise but he truly changes up around them
ᯓ★ satan
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— satan immediately calms down around mc he’ll been screaming n shouting n suddenly mc will appear satan will still be angry but lower his tone n soften down
— as we know satan loves cats n wishes he had one in the past he’s owned a few cats but either beelzbub has tried to eat them or they’ve been scared off by lucifer
— Satan loves to read to calm himself down and settle his mind n thoughts he hates when people interrupt him
— satan absolutely hates cleaning his room as we can see from all the books laying around his room it’s just one of the things he never seems to put effort into
ᯓ★ asmodeus
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— asmodeus loves doing mcs makeup and doing his brothers as well
— each week asmodeus sets a day typically Sundays where he sets the day to self care n himself
— he loves watching makeup tutorials or makeup videos he’s a big fan of trying to recreate them in his free time
— asmodeus loves shopping days with mc and often asks them to come with him
— asmodeus loves taking aesthetic pictures n posting them
ᯓ★ beelzbub
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— beelzbub loves having dinner dates with mc
— beelzbub has won the devildom record for eating the most in every restaurant
— beelzbub enjoys spending most of his time with Belphegor ever since the death of his sister he feels clung to belphegor
— beelzbub is so soft n kind to mc n his brothers he is clearly one if not the softest out of the game
— beelzbub is a great hugger he is like a ball of warmth
ᯓ★ belphegor
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— belphegor loves having nap times with mc he could sleep for hours as we already know but especially when he’s around mc he sleeps like a baby
— after the war when everyone first arrived at belphegor used to sleep his thoughts n ignore the memories of lilith and her passing
— when he was trapped in the attic he built up such anger from mc he had such a a hatred for mc due his him being locked away n his trauma with Lilith
— belphegor does feel so guilty toward mc for what he did but he pushes the feeling away
— belphegor is such a deep sleeper even a bomb couldn’t wake him up n even if it did he becomes very agitated when awoken from his sleep
⁺‧₊˚ ཐི⋆♱⋆ཋྀ ˚₊‧⁺
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slutforpringles · 7 months ago
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What do you think is actually behind the Danny bashing on social media and Reddit lately?
I find it really puzzling, to put it mildly. As if the decision over an RBR or VCARB seat is simple enough to decide 4 races into a 24-race season, which it certainly isn’t.
Some of the Yuki and Liam fans seem to be really young, and for some of them, there seems to be some sort of weird ageism involved in their anti-Ricciardo ranting.
But some of it seems to be an enjoyment of tearing someone down who’s always been popular, despite him not misusing or abusing that popularity
IDK - what are your thoughts, please?
Hey anon! This is actually a really interesting question, and I’d be really interested to hear other people’s thoughts and opinions on too. I think probably how much time you spend online and on which online platforms does probably affect your viewpoint, and obviously this is just my take on the growing anti-DR sentiment based on what I’ve seen/ experienced. 
I think it’s definitely multi-faceted, which is partly why there’s so much of it at the moment, because multiple situations/things have fed into the Daniel hatred. 
I think a very large percentage of it is simply the influx of new fans into the sport that have only seen Daniel drive from the McL era onwards. 
I think a lot of people are consuming more and more F1 content from non-trustworthy sources (e.g. instagram and twitter update accounts, non-reputable websites) that use clickbait and unsubstantiated rumours to create maximum drama. I think this has been particularly tricky for Daniel, because his popularity has made him a super target since 2021 for this.
I think there's a growing sentiment of annoyance at the limited number of seats available to enter F1, particularly for fans of younger drivers who have watched them go through the feeder series and feel it is unfair that they aren’t being given a chance in F1. I think this has become even louder since F1 rejected Andretti’s bid, and I think struggling or older drivers become a much easier target for expressing that frustration than an entire sport/regulatory body.
I think the more recent wave of fans being more critical of driver’s public opinions and thoughts on social/political/moral issues has probably increased scrutiny on Daniel, too. And while I completely agree with fans expecting more and better from drivers, I think there’s a huge amount of hypocrisy and recency bias when it comes to some very vocal online fans and fanbases, which I think also underscores how many of them are part of the new wave of F1 fans. (E.g. I see ample criticism of Daniel from fans of driver’s who refused to kneel during 2020 that are clearly totally unaware that Daniel was one of the loudest supporters of Lewis during 2020 and BLM protests)
I think it’s also just part and parcel of the growing extreme polarisation of the internet. It seems people are becoming far more used to extreme polarisation in general, and the echo chambers of social media and the wider internet algorithms are only continuing to exaggerate that. People also seem to be less and less civil online, and while places like twitter have been a toxic wasteland for a long time, that toxicity and complete lack of normal human interaction has started to affect other online spaces too.
And yeah I do agree that there seems to be a certain percentage of fans that just seem to enjoy revelling in a driver’s struggles, and love to tear down someone who seems to be a happy bubbly person. And while some of that is maybe inherent sports tribalism (which I’m not really on board with tbh), I really think it’s reached a whole new low.
OK sorry I didn't mean for this to be such a long response! Hope that answers your question and I’d love to hear if anyone else has other thoughts/opinions too!! 🙂
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qqueenofhades · 1 year ago
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Maybe this is a controversial opinion, but its one that I've been reminded of in the few weeks since things have escalated so severely in Israel and Palestine-- I feel like the pressure for random, average individuals online to be vocally political is not only entitled and uncomfortable, but also just an example of misplaced priority.
Like, I have people on twitter right now that are flat out saying if you don't talk extensively about I/P you're truly, irredeemably evil. I've had mutuals say that silence means you're complacent in genocide, that you have blood on your hands (exact words). But it just doesn't make sense? Most of the people who I've seen being flat out harassed for being silent are teenagers who don't have money to donate, working class folks who don't have time to spare, and normal people who just don't have enough of a following online to even spread any word effectively. Of course, the ones doing the harassing are also poor/busy/not-popular, but they don't see the irony. (I've also seen them say that talking about war constantly is taking a toll on their mental health, saying they've cried, had nightmares, panic attacks, etc...but they also say that taking a mental health break from social media is "selfish" and genocidal, so.)
The whole interaction leaves me with so many questions. If stepping away from social media because politics are stressing you out (which they are known to do), are you obligated to use social media? Do you have to use twitter to be a good person? What does that say about people who can't afford a phone, or live in a country where it isn't quite possible? (Are homeless folks inherently genocidal, or is that an "obvious" exception that was never clarified because no one uses nuance anymore?) If you have to talk about world events, lest you side with the oppressor, at what point is something so catastrophic you *must* talk about it? Is there a number of lives lost that is low enough you can get away with being quiet, and a certain amount too high that you're obligated to talk about it? Is it your duty to have the news on 24/7 to make sure you don't miss anything and catch all the global disasters as they happen? How much do you have to talk about something for it to be considered "enough"? Is there a quota??
It just feels like a lot of people are acting as if people who aren't chronically online aren't 1. doing any activism, because the only important activism is social media networking (sarcasm), or 2. are inherently bad people for *not* spending 6 hours a day on their phones. Like, I had someone I thought was a friend say I was a bad person because I was trying to cut down my social media usage, because the timing was "too convenient"... as if that's a normal thing to say to someone, ever. Sorry if I went on a little bit of a rant, it wasn't my intention. I dunno, maybe it's just me; I've seen a lot of people saying this sort of stuff so maybe they are the majority. It just feels really weird to let people that are addicted to social media take charge of who online is "good" or "bad" based off their internet usage. As if we were all catholics or something. If I were to say that current takes on morality were very catholic-seeming, would you know what I mean?
As recently noted, I am myself on an embargo from answering asks related to this topic. I will make one exception because this is important. Please note that any wank in replies or reblogs will be instantly blocked (and I won't hesitate to disable reblogs if necessary). I will not be answering follow-up asks or getting drawn into Discourse. I do not want to do it and it will not be happening.
I have said it before, but it bears saying again: thinking that the only way to Do Activism is to be constantly on social media and immersing yourself in terrible things nonstop and then posting the Most Correct Opinions (and then viciously attacking anyone who is even slightly Not As Correct as you) is absolutely bullshit. If you're engaging with this content so much that it's giving you a mental breakdown or otherwise plunging you into a spiral of anxiety that you take out on other people who are just as far removed from actually doing anything about it as you: why? Do you really think that you and you alone, one random person on the Internet, are the only way anyone else is going to find out about these things? Or do you think you have to perform the Most Correct Opinions nonstop, viciously harass anyone who isn't responding in exactly the same way, and this is the sum total of what your response should be? Especially in a situation as bloody and complicated as this, dealing with reams of religious, social, cultural, and political history where the average commentator on this conflict knows only what's been fed to them by propaganda on TikTok? How the fuck is that useful or constructive for anyone, aside from perpetuating the idea that you have to be angry all the time on social media about things you essentially know nothing about? I can't see that it does.
What's happening to the Gazans right now is no qualification or equivocation, a genocide. It should rightfully be opposed and called what it is. But unfortunately, I have spent too much time around Western Online Leftists to believe they actually care a whit about stopping genocide as a fundamental principle, and only want to be seen to loudly care about what their Ideology has told them to care about. If it means hand-waving aside genocide and atrocities when committed by their preferred polities, so be it. Why haven't these same people been wall-to-wall up in arms about what Russia has been doing in Ukraine, or for God's sake Syria for the past ten years, if they're really concerned about the rights of innocent Muslim civilians attacked by a far-right imperialist power? Why not the Uighurs in China? Why not [insert the blank] of all the terrible things happening in the world as a result of far-right fascist genocidal imperialism? Why only this conflict? Why now? Why does it involve so much excusing of terrorism as long as it's committed for the Right Ideology? Why are some of the most loudly pro-Palestinian accounts on here also the most rabidly pro-Russian? How does that make sense? To put it bluntly, those genocides are being committed by nation-states that Online Leftists like for being "anti-Western," and therefore their activities are actually fine and should even need to be defended.
My point is not to say that what's happening to the Palestinians is not bad. It is. It is awful and inexcusable. However, I seriously doubt the motives and morality of those who are being the loudest about screaming on social media and attacking everyone else for not instantly repeating their views. I seriously doubt that the Online Left actually opposes genocide and accelerationism as fundamental principles, because they proudly demonstrate every day that they don't. Until those vast factors can be dismantled and shown for what they are, and this can be placed into its larger context, I don't buy it and I don't believe this wall-to-wall social media outrage factory is actually aimed at helping the Gazans or anyone else suffering the most as a result of this. It is just to show that they can be counted on to Perform Outrage and harass anyone else who doesn't do the same, and that does nothing for anyone whatsoever.
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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months ago
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WIBTA if i told my friend to, essentially, count their blessings?
sorry for possibly bad english
CONTEXT: me (19 they/them) and my online friend (18 they/them). years ago we bonded over not having friends IRL. they were being bullied and i have some mental issues that make social things difficult (social anxiety, low social battery, tendency to isolate)
then things changed. i got therapy and started talking to some classmates. my friend now has an entire IRL friend group they're very close to.
but this past year was a nightmare for me. i'm not in school anymore and my mental health hit a new low. i can't stay in touch with people, everything is exhausting, i'm back to zero. i'm still in therapy but i'm seriously struggling.
silver lining: talking to people online is a little easier. i don't have online friends aside from this person. but i'm very friendly in videogames (i jump around, spam a little, TBH i'm annoying but it works) and i'm active online and open about my interests, some are crazy popular. basically i have small exchanges with people here and there, very brief and or casual. it looks like nothing but where i'm at RN it means the world to me.
PROBLEM: my friend. every. single. time. they see a mutual commenting on my post, or i tell them i had a nice interaction in a videogame, they say "wow, you're a magnet, everyone always talks to you, nobody ever talks to me, haha, i don't know how you do it since no one even looks at me". seriously, EVERY TIME.
they've been doing this for years. it didn't bother me as much before but things are different now. they have a wonderful IRL friend group, a girlfriend, many online friends they're close to. they literally DO befriend people the same way i do, i don't understand what they're envious of. meanwhile this is all i have and they're fully aware of my situation.
BTW it's okay to feel jealousy and envy, i'm a little envious too, but it's how you act on it that can be rude or insensitive. i keep it to myself because i know my issues aren't their fault. also over the years i reassured them when they acted this way and a few times i introduced them to some of these people i meet. apparently it didn't change anything.
i want to tell them to start thinking about how many friends they have and to stop complaining. kindly. i probably sound irritated because i am. but if i say this i don't want to be mean to them, i'll try to be respectful. i just don't know if i'm in the right to even be annoyed
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cy-cyborg · 1 year ago
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Hi! I'm trying to include autistic and/or ADHD characters in my stories but I'm afraid I'm not doing a good job. I'm neurotypical, so I fear I might find myself using stereotypes and that's not my intention. Do you have any tips? Thank you in advance, have a nice day!
Ok, so personally I have a lot of trouble coming up with advice for auDHD (autism + ADHD) because, well, the spectrum of experience is so large and there isn't a lot of consistency within the community in regards to what is considered good representation vs just stereotypes. There's a few outliers, like every one I know has agreed Sia's movie "Music" is offensively bad lol, but pretty much everything else I can think of is less clear cut. Generally though, if you want examples of media portrayals of autism done well, avoid anything from or connected to Autism Speaks. They are not a reliable source.
I only really have 3 suggestions:
decide what level of support your character needs. Support needs for autism are variable and they can fluctuate throughout a person's life, but typically, people will fit into one of 3 categories. In Australia it's Level 1, Level 2 and Level 3 with Level 1 is defined as generally being low-support needs, and level 3 being generally very high support needs. Of course, it's a spectrum, so there's massive amounts of variably person-to-person, but as an author, it can be a good idea to pick one of the levels, because you'll typically find more specific information about how autism will present.
Find content creators (as in multiple) with both Autism and ADHD. It's a good idea to listen to the community directly, but when you're writing an AuDHD character in particular, you do need to be aware that those autism and ADHD can play into one another or in some cases, can cancel some traits of each other out (kind of). But it'll be different from person to person. They are very distinct disabilities, but they have some unusual interactions it's vital to be aware of. Ideally, you'll also want to try find auDHD people in the same age range and who are the same gender as your character. Different generations and age groups will treat AuDHD differently, and while It's not a hard and fast thing, both autism and ADHD manifest differently in men and women because of how we are socialized and raised (this applies to trans and nonbinary people too, they'll typically take on traits associated with the gender they were usually raised as, but not always. Personally, I showed a mix of both, but my traits do align more with the typical presentation of AuDHD in girls). Just a little side note, not every person creating content about Autism/ADHD is open to working with authors. Find content creators, listen to them, but don't ask them about your character specifically unless they have stated somewhere that they're open to helping with that kind of thing.
Find sensitivity readers and sensitivity consultants for autism and ADHD. A sensitivity reader goes over your manuscript once the draft is done, but consultants help you from even earlier on in the process. If you're worried about not doing the community justice, this is the best way to go. People online like myself can offer generalized advice, but SR's and SC's will be able to go much more in-depth with you and help you fix moment-to-moment issues in your story.
Some additional things to be mindful of as well when looking up further resources:
Both Autism and ADHD can make it difficult to regulate tone and emotion. This means you are likely going to get information from the community at some point that might not be easy to hear and you're not going to like how its presented to you lol. They're going to be blunt and maybe even "rude". It's not personal (usually lol) but don't expect everyone to be polite, and don't only take criticism from those who are. Tone and emotional regulation is literally a part of both disabilities for a lot of us, and this is a topic a lot of us have strong feelings about to begin with.
I mentioned it already, but avoid taking advice from anything connected to or directly from Autism Speaks.
Social media tends to favor low-support-needs folks, so you'll find info about them, from them, much easier. Even if you're writing a LSN character, be mindful of that bias
Be wary of anyone claiming autism/ADHD is a superpower unironically. This is one of those things that's said by a lot of lower support needs folks and is often a warning sign that they might hold harmful beliefs about other parts of the community and could give you bad info. Just again, something to be aware of when researching.
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hasaniwalker · 25 days ago
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Still creating, Still working on books, Yes my post amount has been low.
I wanted to post more this October. Artwork, maybe some announcements on future stuff. Also wanted to answer more Doris and Dawn questions along with posting more lore from that story. I have been working on things. Still adding to the Doris Doodle graphic novel, about to get the Hundred Acre Kingdom out to print. I’m still going, but I haven’t been on social pages as much now.
I’m in the US and the stress of everything now has made it hard to get online and interact. Even going outside is difficult. I have a lot of anxiety and it has been very high most of the time recently. Going online right now really does help raise this up. I’m a person of color and I write a lot of stories that center on giving characters agency. Seeing people actively hate people like me and the people I create for has been extremely disheartening. I don’t like to talk about politics, absolutely not, but unlike when I was in high school and could work merrily away and look in on an election, now It’s an existential dread of possibly being in a dictatorship that sets everything back by decades.
I voted early, made sure my ballot reached its destination. I’m hoping that in a week I can start to relax, even slightly.
I’m sorry I haven’t been more active. Especially this month, Dawn’s favorite month. Very often while working I’ve had to take breaks once a great amount of dread sinks into my mind.
I greatly appreciate everyone who follows my work, and a special shoutout to the patrons and the people on the Doris Doodle Discord!! Seeing that kind of support for my work and characters really helps push me to keep making things and telling stories.
Hope to post more soon, and hope I can do it without feeling overwhelmed by the world.
Thank you,
Hasani
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perplexingluciddreams · 2 years ago
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Using the internet and technology with high needs autism
I have been trying to put this into words for a while, but due to the exact thing I am making the post about, it has been very difficult.
First of all, a short (ish - I am not the best at concise) background of me and technology: Used to play games on dad's phone, and later watch YouTube videos on family tablet (with parent restrictions). However, ability to navigate devices was very limited, and if something went wrong I just panic and give to an adult.
We used computers a bit in school for work and educational games. Every time we went to the "computer area" I would cry because I knew I wouldn't be able to find the webpage on my own, or sign in to something, or type in a word document. At these times in school, usually another pupil would just sigh loudly and then come and do the computer thing for me over my shoulder.
I had an MP3 player that I got for I think my 8 or 9th birthday. The only thing I knew how to do, was play music and google search. But I still didn't really understand what a "link" was, or how to find important information. We were supposed to learn online research skills in school, but nobody ever explained the most simple stuff to me, so I lack the basic knowledge.
I got my first phone at age 10. This was when I also first get Instagram, my first social media (parents set up for me). I was in a group chat for my school year, but the only time I put a message there is when mum asked me to ask a question, about a non-uniform day for example. Nobody interacted with me in there, and apart from the messages I don't know how to navigate the app. I posted a few pictures a few times, but only when someone else recommended, and I didn't interact online.
I have poor language comprehension, slow processing and take longer to learn new skills. My computer skills and especially typing skills are majorly behind my peers. I have slowly learned some skills allowing me to be even on Tumblr in the first place, but I still need a lot of support and it makes me very anxious. Part of my difficultly on social media, is the social interacting part. Mostly due to low interest.
But my biggest challenge is poor comprehension. I get very anxious and upset when I come onto Tumblr and all the posts I try to read don't make sense to me. Especially when the post is about a topic I care about - if I read it and I can't know what people mean, then I will just be very upset for the rest of the day.
Second biggest challenge, not being able to express opinions on important topics. Often, I can't even understand something. Then, I can't form an opinion because it's too complex. Or, I have an opinion, but I don't understand if someone agree or disagree with me from what they write.
I work so hard to gain skills and learn enough to even be here, and then all I can find about people like me is other people arguing about our existence. Want to express my frustration at this. To even write this post I had support from mum, and it takes all my mental energy.
It is true that I have low interest in socialising - direct impact of autism. So social media maybe not best place in the world for me, by default. But I still want to understand and be included. Not be treated like place to just ask "am I counting as high support needs". I don't understand even my own needs enough to answer this for myself - I definitely can't answer for anyone else.
A lot of my challenges, come direct from autism. That's just a fact. Wish it was easier, very often. But also wish it was easier online - I can't be part of outside community, only online.
I post here to express thoughts and feelings, that is also just what this post is doing. I did less big big edit on my words this time, wanted words to be closest to how I think it (don't think in words so not possible to show abstract thoughts direct, but closest to first translation).
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theladyofshalott1989 · 5 months ago
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Hello.. 👋🏻
I read your answer about the motivation to write with low engagement and want to thank you for your words, because I currently struggle a little with this topic.
I love to write, always have, but beeing in the HL fandom helped me to (more or less) consistently write and publish something. For the last months I changed from writing mainly little snippets, to focus on my long fic, because I finally want to put everything on paper, that lingers in my mind. 😅
And I will keep writing, because it has become very personal and some sort of healing for me.
But from time to time I struggle, because I think it's not good enough. There are people who read it, but barely any engagement. And I want to learn and become better so badly.
Sometimes I think, it's because my first language isn't English and I can't convey all the feelings with my translation. But then, it's not that the original is doing so much better.. 😅
I'm sorry for venting to you and it feels a little weird because I don't want to fish for compliments.😅
But maybe you have some tricks up your sleeve that can help with the feeling to be not good enough? Or writing better in general? 😊
Hi! Thank you so much for your ask. First off, you are not alone. Your feelings are valid and shared by many, myself included. <3 I am so glad that HL brought you back to writing. It was the same for me too, and I will also be forever grateful for that. Before I share my practical tips, I want to establish that engagement does not always equal quality. It could FOR SURE (I am not calling out anyone here!), but, like with all things, certain tropes/pairings/topics are more popular in one fandom than the next. Sometimes someone started writing at the perfect time, usually right when a new fandom pops up, or they are uber talented and can provide not only a story but also fan art! Those people blow my mind and I have so much respect for them.
But I digress! Onto the practical tips... Keeping in mind that I do not always follow my own advice, so typing this up is making me laugh at myself. (It's good to laugh at yourself sometimes though.) 1. Pick up another hobby so writing isn't your only one. For me, it's classes at my local gym. IMO, an active hobby is the most helpful because the endorphin rush helps a lot. 2. Set a day aside each week where you do not go online at all. I did this during peak Covid, and it was so therapeutic. Our minds are not designed to be constantly on. We need a break from social media and the internet every so often. 3. If you can, find a small group of buddies and interact with them. <3 My HL buds keep me sane a lot of the time. They're lovely people too and they've introduced me to other fandoms as well. 4. Block tags and/or blogs you're not interested in seeing. I have only blocked one blog (I'll be transparent here: it's the Hogwarts: Legacy Confessions blog, just for my own personal sanity; no hate toward the creators at all), but I block a lot of tags for personal reasons, and it really does help a lot.
5. Have you tried a review exchange? On Reddit there are groups that swap and review each others' stories. I've done this a few times for some of my one-shots and it's great! You can even specify if you want critique (or not). I can send you links to these subreddits if you wish. Just let me know! I really hope these tips help. Also, please never apologize for venting. Putting yourself out there creatively is a very vulnerable thing; it's only natural to be upset when you feel like you don't get out what you put in. <3
My messages are always open too. Please don't hesitate to reach out!
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cloangi · 7 months ago
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Get to know me 🔥
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**Post may be updated every so often to change wording, to add/delete things, etc
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Part 1 of Bio - Information for starters⤵️
Fine to interact:
Under my age (15)
A bit over 18
A furry (not the gross kind though. Just the ones who dress up for fun)
Part of LGBTQ+
Overall everyone is welcome‼️
Do NOT interact (I seriously dont want any sort of conflict here):
Homophobic
Transphobic
Racist (if you're going out your way to harass people and be an overall bitch that is)
Phobia against any religion
Into sick activities (you already know what I mean by this 😐)
Against the military in any way (We get the whole propaganda stuff, but don't hate people who are active duty, in the reserves, etc. If someone wants to join, don't hate on them and spread death threats, its sad to see some people sre actually like this)
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If I see any of yall tweaking out or being problematic over some shit, don't be surprised if I block your ass from here 💀🙏. I'm tryna keep this a "good vibe" type place. And keep in mind that I tolerate most types of behavior, and I literally never block people (very high and bold emphasis on "never").
So if I do happen to block you, you done messed up.
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General things about me:
15 years old
I'm AROACE 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
ENTJ personality type
Only do art as a hobby (so no money taking or commissions people)
Art consists of my fandom fixations
You can refer to me as either my username or the names Baaz and Keegan. Either one works, I don't care.
Extra: Besides posting low quality drawings of my fixations, I mostly reblog art or anything I can find of the fandoms/fixations I'm in (or know a bit about), such as art, memes, and such. Or you can find some random art that isn't related to any fandom reblogged on here.
(Adding onto the paragraph above): You can find a lot of my art (at least right now) in the "#cod ghosts" tag and the "#r6siege" tag. So if you wanna get a taste of my work you know where to do
I am fine with people + mutuals sending me DM's‼️ Just don't make it weird (you already know what I mean by that 💀)
Also, please do send me asks 🙏‼️. I enjoy responding to them and sadly never get any 😔
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Note: You can make offensive + dark humor jokes (at least with me in the ask box or DM's) I'm into that shit. Can be racist jokes, sexist, sexual in some way, or whatever. Insulting me in any way doesn't affect me in the slighest as long as it's a joke. The more offensive the better—so go all out (not S/A though, that's something that even I'll never joke about).
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Social stuff:
Quora Account - [Place where I've spent most of my time online, around 4-5 years or so. I post random things of me yapping of all topics or things I've found/seen].
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Part 2 of Bio - Fixations⤵️
The list below is color coded based on the fandoms I'm fixated on, or I just like
Orange = Fixated
Green = Like
Rainbow 6 Siege - Don't have the console to play the actual game so I watch it instead.
Call of Duty - Certain campaigns in it, mostly COD Ghosts though (Yes, I have played the OG versions of some of the campaigns on the old ps3 we have, and I do play MP Cod Ghosts).
Mouthwashing - The entire story is just...wow. So sorry that had to Happen to you, Anya. Also, fuck Jimmy. Everyone else is cool.
Hell Divers 2 - Like R6S, I don't have the actual console itself to play it but it's on my wishlist and I really like the concept of the game, plus the community seems pretty fire.
Eddsworld - Used to have a HUGE fixation on this fandom, prob for up to 1-2 years (shit had a strong grip on me)
My Little Pony - I'm surprised this fandom is absolutely booming now. Watched the entire show (forgot everything though 💀), I love the art the fandom makes though, including the AU's.
Saiki K - Started to rewatch it again since I forgot the whole storyline 💀🙏
The Amazing Digital Circus - Caught up on all episodes
Demon Slayer - Watched all seasons
The Amazing World of Gumball - Havent really watched it much, but I really like it including the fan base
Into the Spiderverse - Have never read the comics, but movie-wise I like it
...Damn, you still reading? I mean if you're interested go ahead and drop a follow to this thing (you're likely gonna forget this account anyways, so free follow for me mwhahaha).
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sethcertified · 2 years ago
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「 SLASHERS REACTIONS TO THEIR FANDOMS ! 」 . . . 📂
slashers : various
wrd count : 1.2k
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⊹˚.⋆ synopsis . . . how slashers would react to their fandoms
⊹˚.⋆ starring . . . patrick bateman, bo sinclair, vincent sinclair, billy loomis, stu macher, brahms heelshire, & billy lenz
⤷ patrick bateman
okay this is going to be fun
his (already huge) ego gets boosted sm by the like "sigma" edits and shit of him
not to be cliche but the “I bet paul allen doesn't ___” sort of comments make him feel so high and mighty
and seeing how many people find him hot? god he would become even more insufferable
BUT HERES THE FUN PART
he delves more into the patrick bateman edits and stuff and that's when he finds the satirical shipping, cutesy edits, etc
he sees himself and the word "babygirl" put together and has a full blown meltdown
god it’d be so funny cause it's literally 50/50 in the fandom so he couldn't separate one from another if he even tried
AND THE SHIPS
oh, he would just be gagging at the louis x himself ships
idk I feel like he would go "take this down now 🤬”
he's so edgy 12 year old boy yk
AND THE EDITS
patrick practically passing out when he seems himself edits with anime blush and cat ears
his masculinity was already bruised by the ships and now this?
he 100% posts some of the edits about him on his socials
he also sends the links to these vids to people he dislikes to prove his "fame"
the fame goes to his head but he gets humbled when he sees everyone calling him "my pathetic malewife bbg 💕”
⤷ vincent sinclair
I just love vincent sm and so does his fandom
I have not once met someone who hates vincent
he is so insecure and humble and just deserves to see everyone complimenting him and his wax figures
he loves his fandom to say the least
and they absolutely adore him
definitely gets confused by some of the compliments he gets
example a: "If he doesn't want me to slut him out, why waist so slutty?"
^^ yes I did find that on here
is in disbelief ppl can find him attractive let alone say things sexual about him
he has rlly rlly low self esteem okay
if he ever tried to interact with his fandom online I have two different directions in my head
IS AWFUL ON THE PHONE
typos and everything
but it's so sweet
"THank yu 🙂"
he has big fingers and struggles to type ^^ or if he gets adjusted it's perfect grammar "I appreciate you for this. Thank you so much."
hes just a big ol boy getting the praise he deserves
⤷ bo sinclair
this one is a bit tricky
he isn't too phased by the compliments unlike his brother
he knows he hot
so "daddy" "so hot" compliments r not new to him
BUT I think stuff like | want to see him whimper" will make him feel VERY FLUSTERED
like awkward coughing and hiding his face flustered
but he doesn't get a bigger boost in his ego
I feel like it doesn't go to his head cause he is already pretty confident in his looks yk
but seeing people appreciate him for his personality?
like talking about how charming and husband material he is
it definitely gives him more hope that he's worth more than his looks & that he means something
this one is short but he wouldn't interact with the fandom
or he’ll barely scrap the surface so he doesn’t see the weird stuff…
like he seems so Facebook dad to me
basically he is tolerates his fandoms cs he’s only seen the tip of the iceberg
⤷ billy loomis
ANOTHER TRICKY ONE
billy is so tricky for me tho
honestly it goes to his head
seeing ppl in awe about him ^^
he's a slasher fan too so he is more active in other fandoms if that makes sense
but he does like to delve into theories and discussions about ghostface and the scream franchise with members of his fandom
rlly enjoys knowing he is considered one of the "well known" slashers
honestly he feels threatened by danny johnson from DBD because when u search ghostface a lot of content surrounding him pops up a long with stu and billy
billy wants everyone to know he’s the ghostface
he loves the fame basically
I do get the feeling he hates the image ghostface has tho
like the "thirst traps"
he's just the type of guy who calls people "posers" and "fake fans"
so that rily irritates him
if you know a lot about slashers/ghost face he's chill
he likes his fandom but there's definitely outliers with the people who know ghostface but not who's behind the mask
he wants the notoriety
⤷ stu macher
LOVES HIS FANDOM
he loves being worshipped by his fandom
all compliments, all fanart, all of it he loves
teases Billy sometimes about the posts
sends scream memes to his friends
feels guilty tho when he sees posts about his and Tatum's relationship
like that's the only downside for him
he responds to fans, tells "insider" stuff, etc
Stu is very active in his fandom
he thrives off of it essentially
definitely set up a cameo or something at one point and says his iconic lines from the movie
+ try's to get fan service out of Billy
hes like an obnoxious youtuber
REPOSTS EVERYTHING
edits? yes
fanart? yes
fanfic..?
yes.
he's not rlly sad either that billy gets more attention than him cs if you love stu you LOVE stu
calls his fandom "machiacs"
cause macher + maniac
but he does think he's more famous than he actually is
like if someone doesn't recognize him he'll go "I'm THE stu macher"
fanservice king!!!
⤷ billy lenz
no shame at all
he will repost smut/hentai of him
loves his fandom cause they're as equally as horny as he is
but I think he does see that he is desirable in more ways when he finds like fluff imagines
loves his fanart the most
he would try and redraw the fanarts but they turn out horribly
he 100% try's to interact with his fandom
key word is try
he doesn't type but does the voice to text thing
so all his replies and post end up
JEJSNSBSHSISJJSNS *insert heavy breathing* HSHDNDJSJSK
his poor phone can't keep up :(
he doesn't understand the fandom but he loves them
"billy boy my beloved ❤️”
^^ those are his favorite types of fandom interactions
⤷ brahms heelshire
refuses to have internet
straight up refuses
but I feel like he's the only one who would dislike his fandom
and i mean actively dislike
if he saw how many people call him "stinky wall boy"
let's just say he would have a fit
only thing he would like is people saying he's better than other male characters
but literally that's it
hates everyone and everything about his fandom
he thinks of them as lowly or without class
its just best if he never finds out about his fandom
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✎ notes . . . yes, this is a repost. tumblr deleted my old acc >:( ◯  🖖🏻  ⭒  ⧆
©️ sethcertified 2023
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brynnterpretations · 4 months ago
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see youve been doing a lotta theboys ship reqs recently HUGE kudos to u got damn, and i love how u write them sm !! hope u dont mind one more ^^ (fine w p much anyone except homelander or deep)
im an anxiety-ridden autistic bi british tguy with a pretty hefty male lean, 5'6"-ish, long hair thats shaved on one side , lotsa face piercings , pretty hairy , scruffy jaw , got a "would be a bear if i hit the gym more often" kinda build . i wear shades 24/7 bc i hate eye contact and bright lights . i generally dont bother picking out an outfit but when i do i lean towards a kinda 50s greaser vibe even tho i dont have a bike or anything
im a recluse and not particularly social , i end most conversations quickly but politely tho i dont let myself get walked over . i do like going for walks , particularly walking my cat , or otherwise hauling something around , its a good workout , but most of the time im indoors and just drawing/animating (what im attending uni for) or playing games . i prefer talking online to in person cause of low social battery , even for family n close friends .
im insecure but otherwise i think j have pretty good self-esteem , and tho im not diagnosed im like 95% sure ive got covert narcissism , i see most people as below me in some way but i dont express this obviously . a lack of attention , particularly online , is distressing and upsetting , and i get defensive very easy . i THRIVE on the feeling of caring for or protecting someone both bc it feeds this and is the only time i can power through my social anxiety .
uhhh cat lover , marine life lover , would spend the rest of my life in an aquarium , would rather be a shark than a human , dont like getting dressed if i dont have to , nail biter , dragon fanatic , would probably be a supe given the chance
hope thats not too much , and thank you !
Thank you so much for the kind words! I hope you like this. ♡
I ship you with...
Frenchie ♡
Boyfriend
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GIF Source: @samuelroukin ★ (link)
You and Frenchie meet while you're walking your cat. Frenchie is a huge cat guy (I will die on this hill), and though he hasn't had any of his own since his early twenties, he still makes it his mission to interact with them as much as he can. Cat on the street? Gets pet. Cat in those windows of veterinary offices that you can walk into if you don't seem too shady? Gets pet. Cat in a house the coup is raiding? Gets pet, and moved to a safer location.
So, when he sees your cat being walked, the dude has to go over. Plus, not gonna lie, even in NYC, it's pretty uncommon to see cats being walked, especially down the street that the boys' hideout is located on.
He uses small talk to warm up the awkwardness that comes with a random French man coming up on the street to pet your cat, and eventually asks if you'd ever want to go on a walk sometime. While he initially had his eyes set on your cat, when the guy looked up at you, he immediately saw that you're really, really cute. He has a weakness for facial piercings and for general "scruffiness", so add that on to the cat and the general reservedness? Bro's set.
Through that, you start hanging out a lot and getting to know each other. Frenchie's not a texting person, so you two tend to call a lot, and have a lot of cute but low-key dates, like cooking meals for you at his apartment and playing video games.
And, on that note: Frenchie absolutely sucks at video games, but he has fun playing them with you. While Frenchie is very spatially aware in real life, he is not in online games — bro would get absolutely flamed in any CoD lobby — but would have a blast going through your video game of choice by your side.
You would have to help him with the controls... a lot... but it would be worth it.
Frenchie doesn't really believe in "rushing in" or "waiting too long"; he just makes it official once he feels like it's right. After 2 – 3 months with you, he'd ask if you'd like to be together upfront.
And, once you are: you two would be very, very happy together.
Frenchie's a very intuitive person, and while he wouldn't make any assumptions considering your diagnoses/suspected conditions (he's not about that life), he would catch on to your need for attention and care.
Since he's not really a texter, he'd either call you or send you voice notes to say good morning, good night, tell you about something that reminded him of you, etc.
Is your #1 fan concerning your art, and is endlessly in awe of what you do. He would constantly show your work off to the coup, and would definitely commission you for artwork when your schoolwork slowed down (no, he won't accept free shit, he will commission you, point-blank).
Considering Frenchie's been through a lot, you being a caring person and a "protector" would do wonders for the relationship. While Frenchie's a protective guy himself, the dude wants some time to slow down and be taken care of, and would love anything you did for him and reciprocate it completely.
Is a huge physical touch guy, and as long as you were fine with it, would always have an arm around you, his hand in yours, etc.
Also would definitely love to be the little spoon with you, especially because you're very close in height (he's about 5'8).
Is a big gift-giver, and would always purchase anything he saw that reminded him of you, whether it's a shark stuffed animal, or one of those seashell necklaces that street vendors sell.
Also, he's a bit freaked out about marine life — the vastness of the ocean really, really freaks him out, partially because of a near-drowning accident he had as a kid — but would always go to aquariums with you and try to find aquatic spaces to do stuff.
He would do the ocean, but as much as he loves you, he's probably gonna try limiting that to special occasions.
Would 100% spoil your cat, and if you were up for it, adopt one for you two to co-parent.
Also doesn't have many reservations about moving in "early" — again, timestamps aren't really too important to him — and would especially encourage it if it helped any student finances.
On that note, the guy cannot do structured and organized learning, so he would always brag about your postsecondary education and do everything to encourage you, whether it's bringing you your favorite snacks while working on end-of-the-year projects or rubbing your hands and back after finishing an art piece.
He wouldn't hide his work with the Boys from you, and honestly, would encourage you to get involved, particularly through artwork — anti-Supe propaganda, especially aesthetic pleasing ones, have been lacking nowadays. He'd be open about his work and introduce you to the boys before you became official.
And that brings us to...
The Boys ☻
Friends
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GIF Source: @yocalio ★ (link)
So, it's corny... but you and Butcher definitely both bond over both being British/from the U.K. You're one of very few people who were able to immediately understand both his accident and what he was referring to in British slang upon first meeting.
Plus, the guy likes you, even if he doesn't talk to you much. He respects reserved types a lot, and appreciates you leveling out Frenchie's chaos instead of blowing it up (...most of the time).
He wouldn't make an effort to get super close to you — let's be real, he's got a lot of shit to deal with — but would probably invite you out for drinks every once in a while.
A dealbreaker for Frenchie is whether you get along with Kimiko, and fortunately, you two do. While you're not extremely close — you're both pretty introverted, and Kimiko never wants to feel like she's prying — Kimiko really, really likes you, especially when she sees you drawing. She's quite the artist herself, and is fascinated by not only your amazing work, but by the fact you're going to college for it.
Whenever you stop by the hideout, she wouldn't communicate with you much, instead opting to just enjoy your company in silence.
And, if you bring art supplies, she would be so down to parallel-play with you and her drawing side-by-side. While she's not academically trained, she is extremely good at drawing landscapes, and would be very intrigued by your art, as mentioned.
Also would draw you as a present, which would be very cute, even if not fully anatomically correct.
M.M. would like you a lot — he vibes with the shades the first time he sees you — and I feel like you two would be the closest out of the coup. While him encouraging you to would be a bit... annoying... the guy really enjoys your company, and would bond over your shared love of cats.
Would also ask you a lot of questions about cats, because his cat is getting a bit too pudgy and might need to take some strolls downtown.
While you'd be close, he wouldn't ask to hang out with you too much outside of the coup, instead having most of your fun during late nights, considering he's so busy; he'd probably order a pizza for you, Frenchie, and Kimiko and talk with you, and play video games on the very rusty-crusty-dusty XBox that they got to placate Hughie.
Also: he's killer at FPS games, and if you play one with him, y'all will immediately become best friends.
Hughie, Annie, and you wouldn't be super close, but you wouldn't be on bad terms either.
Hughie, quite honestly, would be intimidated; as a ball of social anxiety who tends to seek out more talkative types (E.G. Robin and Annie), he tends to overthink with more quiet people who are less easy to read, and your shades can make it pretty hard for him.
However, your art would definitely lead him to talk to you more (albeitly awkwardly and only in passing), and, if you or Frenchie mention that you play video games... he would try engaging in a yap session with you.
Yes, yes, it's not a stereotypical, "cool guy" game, but Hughie is a huge fan of Minecraft — he's an excellent architect and has actually made tons of custom maps for people to download — so if you play either (or you don't give him a hard time about it), he'd open up to you a lot more.
As for Annie, she just... can't really get a vibe on you. She thinks you're a pleasant person and respects you (she has a lot of admiration for people who go into the arts), but she's someone who believes to be able to "vibe-check" people pretty easily, and because she can't on you, doesn't really know where to go from there.
She wouldn't want to pry, so she wouldn't push you to open up yourself, but if she got more glimmers of you — whether it's through overseeing you and Kimiko drawing, or catching you and M.M. playing on the XBox — she'd spark up a lot more conversations with you.
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buddiebeginz · 4 months ago
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My question is: how did Lou get through 2020 without someone calling him out on his posts or him going through his social media to delete those problematic posts that could get him in trouble and/or disqualify him from jobs?
My guess anon is because he's just not a relevant enough "celebrity" (and I use that term very loosely when talking about him btw). For example he was on 911 before but his role was so irrelevant to the show as a whole there were people who didn't even remember right away who he was when they said they were bringing him back for s7. I even saw a few people get him confused with Gino Pesi who played Sal. And beyond 911 he hasn't acted in a lot of big name productions besides maybe SWAT and I think his role in that has been minimal especially as the seasons have gone on.
So there hasn't been this huge spotlight put on him. Even when I looked up stuff about him and his family (because his dad was pretty famous in the 70s) most of the focus has been on his dad and not him or his personal life.
It wasn't until season 7 of 911 when a lot more attention was placed on Lou, some of which was his own doing from all those cameos and other ways he kept communicating with his fans. Plus the bi buck storyline got a lot of attention so some of that spilled over onto him. Mostly though it was his fans and the chaos many of them have been wreaking. Even as much as some people don't like T*mmy and want to see Buck and Eddie together I don't think most Buddie shippers would have even cared about Lou if it wasn't for B/T fans making the 911 fandom hell.
Eventually people had enough and went looking for dirt they could dig up on Lou and came across his old insta posts. The main issue though isn't that he had old really problematic posts it's how he dealt with it after the fact. B/T stans try to say he was hacked but even if that was the case (which there's no proof he was) he should have put out some kind of statement on his insta. He should have acknowledged the old posts, taken them all down, and apologized for them. Instead he liked a tweet the day after where his fans made him out to be the victim.
Also I think he didn't delete those old posts years ago because he just doesn't care about them and likely probably still thinks they're funny. I still think it was him who sent that spitting on blind children post the night he was called out for his old insta posts. It fits in with the same brand of comedy he seemed to enjoy on his insta.
The other thing is and mind you I'm not an expert in any of this but celebrities generally have pr teams that help them deal with things like social media and help prevent them from doing anything online that could ruin their career. I'm not exactly sure how that all works with an actor as low down the totem pole as as Lou though.
Given all the things he did online over the course of s7 my guess is he didn't have a pr team or he had a shit one because he did a lot of stuff that made him look awful. Any pr team that knew what they were doing would have combed through his accounts looking for things like those old insta posts and taken them down. They also wouldn't have let him keep putting out those cameos especially after he was getting hate for calling T*mmy's racism and homophobia teasing. They certainly would have dealt with what happened on twitter that night that post about the blind children was sent regardless of what happened. I just highly doubt he has anyone working for him to worry about any of that stuff. It was far more likely that Tim and ABC told him to stop the cameos and to stop interacting with fans. This would also explain why some of those old posts are still up on his instagram because he doesn't have anyone telling him to take them down.
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am i the asshole for leading a guy on an low-key manipulating his feelings? (🐺 so i can find it later)
trigger warnings for mental health issues, family death, and suicide mentions.
title is kiiinda dramatic, i know. and i should be clear that i know that what i did was definitely wrong to a degree, but idk how messed up it was.
for context: i (19 f) was freshly seventeen and had just returned to in person school for my senior year after doing my junior year online at home. the majority of my best and only friend had forgotten me almost entirely and abandoned me despite our texting throughout my online year. new social circles had formed in my absence and i had a very difficult time readjusting, especially because i had come out of isolation with worsened anxiety, depression, and lowkey suicidal idealization. to top it all off, my grandfather who i adored had just died. i was desperately lonely and at the lowest i had ever been mentally in my entire life. i say this all not to excuse my actions but to provide some context as to why i acted the way i did.
so i meet this guy (i think like 15-16?) who we'll call finn. finn is a year below me but we share an elective class. we were initially drawn to each other bc we were both the only alt/geeky kids in the room and hit it off really well. and at first things are going pretty good; we eat lunch together every day, share music, talk about our interests etc. normal friend stuff.
but here's the part where i'm probably ta: finn had told me earlier on that he's the type to catch feelings super easy, so i guess i should've expected it, but he tells me that he has a crush on me. not directly though--he starts talking about this girl that he has feelings for but doesn't have the courage to confess to. and the first time he brought it up i didn't realize it was me and ofc tried to hype him up so he could confess and all that. but by the second conversation we have about it, it dawns on me that he's definitely talking about me. and i'm like "ah fuck," because the last person i wanted it to be was me--i'm mostly into girls, and also saw finn as a little brother more than anything else. but i keep hyping him up anyways saying stuff like "oh c'mon the worst she can do is say no! and even then you can at least move on with closure!"
so he takes my advice and confesses to me over text. i turn him down as politely as i can. which is where this whole thing should've ended tbh. but it didn't. his confession (even though it was over text) really endeared me and made me feel appreciated and beautiful in a way i never had been before. i'm not conventionally attractive + a plus size girl, and had never had anyone confess to me before, let alone say something as sincere and sweet as finn did to me. i was always the girl guys dared each other to ask out as a joke, yknow? it felt nice to know that someone saw me as desirable. again, this doesn't excuse my actions or justify them. just context.
so i decide that even though i know i'm not going to pursue anything with finn, i don't want him to lose interest in me either. so i start acting like i might be into him. tell him certain outfits make him look cute, go on and on about how much i love his hair (he really did have nice hair tbh), lean in a little closer when we talked, and constantly reassure him that he'd get a gf soon because good-looking, sweet and funny guys like him don't stay single for long.
he definitely notices bc he (again over text) asks if it's ok to be more physical when we interact. like can he hold my hand if we walk down the hall or whatever. this is definitely where i should've stopped, but i didn't. i kept up the pseudo-flirting bullshit.
and then he confesses (you guessed it! over text) for a second time, insisting that he really thinks that i like him back now. i tell him i don't know what he's talking about but that i'm happy to keep being friends with him. again, i don't stop the flirting-that's-not-quite-flirting.
this continues all the way until the end of the year. he tells me before i graduate that he really cares for me and doesn't want to lose touch after i leave. i promise him we won't. at this point i'd realized the gravity of my actions and had come to regret the way i treated finn, and decided the best course of action was to let our friendship fizzle out after i graduate. so i stop responding as frequently to him, he eventually stops reaching out until finally we lost contact and i delete his number.
i know that what happened was kinda fucked up, but how bad of a fuck up was this tumblr?
(secondary question: is this something that would've had a lasting impact on him and his view of relationships? i hope it isn't. i hope he forgot about me quickly. i hope he's doing better and has found someone who actually likes him.)
What are these acronyms?
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victimeyez · 5 months ago
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Me and my buddy stumbled on your writing andnow we're hate reading just to see how low you're willing to go for the shock factor. So far the Enema Bag Shiver is the funniest, it has turned into our favorite character so far, but the #1 is still the toddler costume for the pedophile implications. To be honest its brave you included that in a story all about kinks you personally have :D Anyway I'm sure its important to the plot too. Keep up the good work. Looking forward to saturday :)
Idk man, kinda sounds like you're my biggest fan.
This story has not been updated regularly until very recently, and It's been ongoing for almost a year. Are you on my taglist? Would you like to be?
I'm not sure how you would stumble across my content. No one has a strictly My Little Pony blog and then randomly reblogs my work. Everything I write is tagged to hell and back, and is exclusively shared within the whump community. Obviously something attracts you to whump, and I write whump. My blog is labeled Dead Dove: Do Not Eat. If you look in the bag and yell at me that you find a dead dove in there, that's not on me.
You have to be actively checking my blog, because you've sent me multiple anon messages, and check to see if I've answered them. When I don't within a few days, you still want my attention so you send more. You want to read the story, and you openly enjoy it, but you're having a hard time reconciling the judgement you make on me with the fact that you genuinely like my content. So you eagerly read it, but send me anon hate so you can still give yourself a big pat on the back and feel like you have a moral superiority. Your case isn't special. It is incredibly common, and certainly nothing new.
What if you could just enjoy the things you like? There's a whole community here that shares your interests and has fun interacting with it. You don't have to put it on your resume, but there's a space here that is appropriate for it. It involves sensitive content, sure, whump is a facet of horror. Torture scenes are incredibly common, even in mainstream media. Game of Thrones featured graphic rape scenes and incest, yet it has unbelievable mainstream appeal. It's okay to like content that involves mature themes and touches on sensitive topics, and the majority of people do.
A lot of people have a hard time being genuine about their interests, whether they carry a taboo or are just considered cringe. I realized years ago that by owning the things I enjoy, no one can hurt me with it. I was a superwholock teenager to the core. I am bad at ice skating and swimming! I'm a fat little boy and I dance funny!!! When you refuse to be ashamed, other people have no power over you. In fact, they start to feel more comfortable being themselves around you, too.
I'm not stooping to anything. I'm an adult with a busy life, who chose to post my writing online, fully knowing the possible consequences, and being fine with them. I have made interactive elements of the story so people can vote for what they want to see - and when I listed the crazy BDSM couple Lisa and Mark, they won the poll by a landslide. There are plenty of people who can distinguish fiction from the author's core morals, and I'm not interested in pandering to anyone who doesn't.
The shock value comment is interesting - if I'm just trying to shock people, why would I hold back? Why didn't I write a whole disgusting scene with the enema? Why have I stated that I will not be writing any kind of age play scenes in this series? There is a plot, character arcs, backstories... Sarge could not be more of a parody unless I had him wear a shirt that said "I am a caricature of the american military industrial complex, republican politics, imperialism, and the intersection it finds with men who struggle socially and turn to red pilled reddit and toxic masculinity as a balm". Seems a bit on the nose, though. Do you think all content that involves horror or mature content is only designed to shock?
If you think I've got this all wrong, and I'm a huge pretentious asshole, that doesn't change anything for me. But you have committed yourself an awful lot to something you supposedly hate. Why don't you just stop reading? You won't even come off of anon, because you know I'd just block you and move on, and I think you would be upset if you couldn't read it anymore. I'm just another freak on the internet, right? Block me and move on. Prove me wrong. Throw a party that you trumped me and won. Feel superior. Do a backflip. Good for you buddy. Or maybe tell me, who actually is your favorite character?
TLDR; you wanna fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid
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